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Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Part I: Salivating to Manifest Tigers Nest


While researching about Bhutan, I stumbled across images of Tiger’s Nest and in my mind’s eye I was instantly there.  I felt sucked into a particular photo of this stunning monastery hanging off a cliff and I became willingly trapped inside the picture.  It’s hard for me to explain how an image of a monastery can have such a profound affect on someone, but I will do my best. 

The picture of Tiger’s Nest was like a seducing food craving to me; the more I think about a craving, the more I can taste it, and once I start salivating, I’m done for.  So like a food craving, I couldn’t stop thinking about this beautiful picture.  Whenever I had the chance, I would stare at hundreds of pictures of Tiger’s Nest until after a few days it was engraved in my mind.  Then I could easily recall its image without the physical photo, which makes awesome daydreaming.  I saw myself hiking up to Tiger’s Nest and turning around to smile at the camera at the exact point where the photo I admired was taken.  My brain had naturally photo shopped me into this famous icon of Bhutan and in my head I had my own personal photo even though it didn’t exist YET

I would also think about how magical it would feel to ascend to one of the world’s most precious monasteries.  These playful thoughts produced strong urgings/cravings to place my feet one by one up those steps to the top.  However, with great thoughts came deterioting thoughts.  Some days I would think, “What if I never get to go.”  Then I would feel the biggest punch in the stomach and knife to the heart.  It was real pain similar to heartaches caused by gut wrenching loss.  I hated the feeling of my stomach tumbling around due to stupid “what if” thoughts.  Ironically, I also found that these thoughts were good for me because I knew that the sickness I felt from the thought of not going signaled me that my intuition was guiding me to go and grabbing my attention when I was off path.  Fortunately, I had a thousand “I got to get there” thoughts for every self-defeating thought.  Eventually, those thousands of thoughts led to daily salivating and I was done for.  Hence, my new beloved, beautiful, spectacular, gorgeous pictures of myself in front of Tiger’s Nest, which are not photo-shopped and yes, I know that I can be a little vainJ.   



6 comments:

  1. Such an adventurous journey! I am enjoying your stories... I wish you the best!!

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  2. What a beautiful discription. I am in love with your new beloved, beautiful, spectacular, gorgeous picture of you too. lol. It's amazing.

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  3. Hello Sabrina, I read the day you departed from your family. That is so be.autifulthat, your bond is so great.That's the way my son and I are. I remember when he left out of the house to study Chiropractor and this was only to San Jose, CA. I can't even imagine him leaving for a whole year to some foreign land where I wouldn't be able to see him for a whole year.I know he could adapt to a foreign country but I wouldn't be able to.
    He's an only child but he isn't a Mama's boy or rather he doesn't show it. I give him his space because I know one day he will belong to someone else. I try to enjoy every moment with him that I can. When he has a girlfriend I hold my distance.
    Sabrina, he was" a "Miracle Baby" I don't know if you believe in Miracles or not. It seems like you do. One day I will tell you about this wonderful Miracle que "La Virgen de San Juan de Los Lagos" sent to me. This is my son. He is now a Doctor of Chiropractor.
    You are a very brave person with such a sense of humor. I am so glad that I joined your blog. I think I will enjoy your journey as I read about it.
    Maybe when you return one day we will meet face to face. I will look forward to that if, you care to meet me too.
    I love talking on the computer and writing on FB. Do you have? Is it called skype? Isn't that where you can see the person on the computer and talk to them? Remember I mentioned earlier I am not computer sabby. I love different crafts, crocheting, making things for others and I'm a "Medical Interpreter" which, I enjoy my job very much. I love helping people.
    You seem to have that kind nature about you also, especially when I read 'about the little boy at the hospital waiting for his Grandfather.
    I will wait for you to write back. Have a great day and I hope you slept confortable last night if it isa nighttime there in Bhutan.

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  4. Yes, I believe in miracles big time! You should look into the work of Caroline Myss who is a medical intuitive. In my opinion, she's like a miracle worker. It's very interesting stuff!

    My mom said that she talked to you at my cousin's birthday party and that you were very kind. You will have to come to my welcome home party next year with my aunty Gloria and Uncle. And bring your miracle son because I might need my back cracked from sleeping on this hard bed every night. JK! I'm glad you like my blog and feel free to share it with your friends and family.

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